Some of us go around with controlled smiles while underneath we are grumbling. Others blast everyone around them.

Some of us save our most critical reactions for those we love while staying sweet and friendly with the outside world.

In any case, we are caught in a blinding trap.

We may know we feel trapped but do not see that our problem is mainly with ourselves. 

We need to look at our relationships.

Have we been falling into a pattern where no one seems to measure up? Are we also being too critical or demanding of ourselves?

Perhaps we don't need to lower our standards so much as to hold them less tightly.

 If we can be friends to ourselves and give ourselves a little more leeway, we can be more easygoing with others.

One of us may choose to go to jail for protesting nuclear weapons; another may choose to pray for peace.

Both are working for the same goal. 

It is a sign of our love to respect others' right to choose for themselves, even to make choices we may not agree with.

Perhaps a brother or sister likes music we hate, or a son or daughter wants to wear an unusual style of clothing.

How often do we, in the name of love, try to force our choices on others?

When we give the gift of letting loved ones choose what is right for them,

it strengthens our ability to choose what is right for us.