The person who is
always having feelings hurt is about as pleasant a companion as a pebble
in a shoe.
-- Elbert Hubbard
Are we overly sensitive or afraid of
personal criticism for
fear our feelings will be hurt?
Sometimes it may seem like no one can
say anything to us without us feeling hurt, shameful, guilt-ridden, or
We may find ourselves saying we’re sorry
so many times in one day that we end up believing we are, indeed, very
Our friends and relatives care about us
and want to see us healthier, happier people.
Because of this, they may give us
criticism. This criticism is meant to be helpful, not hurtful.
If we feel attacked by the criticisms of
others or always seem to have our feelings hurt, it’s because we allow
No one can make us feel any way unless
we let it happen.
Although we may have been brought up
with criticism and been told we were no good, the only person today who
can make us feel worthless is ourselves.
We are as good as we’ll allow ourselves
The most important
thing in life is not to capitalize on your gains. Any fool can do that.
The really important thing is to profit from your losses.
It is easy to see the profit in what we
gain, but it is not so easy to see the profit in what we lose. Projects
that take shape and collections that expand show the gains we have
But how can we see profits from the end
of a relationship, the loss of a job, or the estrangement from family?
Each loss represents a step we need to take toward maturity and growth.
Throughout our lifetimes we will walk up many steps.
Sometimes it may seem like we have a
never-ending stairway in front of us. Our gains are the level parts of
each stair, but the real progress is made when we climb the stairs of
Although we may feel as though we have nothing when we go through a
loss, what we do have is the experience of the loss. We learn to deal
with a different lesson.
Our profits from a loss may not show up
immediately, but we will discover the rich rewards as we learn to
accept life on its terms -- not on ours.
They got scared when
they started feeling good, just because it was so unfamiliar. Like
chronic prisoners facing release from their cells.
-- Lisa Alther
The evening news usually begins with
doom-and-gloom stories and perhaps ends with one positive, uplifting
we were to give the evening news of today, what would it consist of?
Stories of disappointment, anger,
resentment, and misunderstandings; or
recollections of giving, laughter, closeness, success, and achievement?
It’s scary to focus only on the good things that happen. Many times
we’re afraid to feel good because we don’t trust the feeling to last
Perhaps we’re very uncomfortable with
good feelings because they’re so unfamiliar. Yet that unfamiliarity can
change, over time, until we grow accustomed to the good.
Accepting good feelings is like meeting someone we really want to know
At first we may feel scared or shy. But
in time, we feel more at ease and relaxed as we spend more time
together and share different things. Feeling good can be a friend that
will grow more important to us every day.