-- Joyce Carol Oates
 
 

We encounter the experiences we need in our lives.

It's sometimes hard to believe that when we're grappling with disappointment, anger, or loss. Yet everything that comes our way is material for our growth.

Many of us entertain a fantasy that some person can complete us.

We don't believe that we're complete in ourselves.

Only when we love ourselves can we love others realistically, instead of seeing them as fantasy figures, projections of our own desire.

No one can hurt us emotionally unless we allow the hurt.

We're full partners in everything that we do,

and taking responsibility for our actions and our desires,

is our first step toward being fully lovable.

The only one who can save me is me.

If we owe a bill and pay it in full, do we return to pay that same bill over and over again?

 If we did, someone would surely question what was wrong with us.

Yet, how often do we ask forgiveness for the same thing over and over again? 

How wonderful to know that we do not have to condemn ourselves, even for not living up to a goal we have set for ourselves.

Once we say we are sorry, we need to be willing to forgive ourselves.

After all, how else do we learn and grow except by mistakes. 

When we have forgiven ourselves,

we become free to take risks again without fear of unforgivable failure,

and who knows what new successes we might attain?