Like the fir tree we could say, "If only I had taken sprout in a fertile meadow, life would be easier."

If only I had had a better life as a child . . ."

"If only I didn't have my particular hardships . . ." 

By accepting the facts of our own lives, we mature into feelings of joy and pleasure alongside our grief.

Everyone has to struggle with their own unique set of circumstances, even if they are not fair. 

Fairness is not an issue.

Reality is what we have to deal with.

I am the only person who can get what I want; you are the only person who can make you happy or unhappy.

This doesn't mean that the world revolves around us, though.

When we were infants, we believed it did.

 We valued things according to how they affected us.

 A rainstorm was good if it meant we didn't have to visit relatives who bored us, but it was bad if it spoiled a picnic.

We took everything personally.

It's not easy to give up being the center of the universe; some of us cling to the notion long after we've given up bottles and diapers.

But once we acknowledge the impersonality of most events, we can stop taking responsibility for the weather, foreign policy, the outcome of labor negotiations.

We can even stop taking other people's actions personally.

 Other people don't really get sick of us, succeed or fail for our benefit, or live or die because of us. 

It's wonderful to take the pressure off.