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The baggy yellow shirt had long sleeves, four extra-large pockets
trimmed in black thread and snaps up the front. It was faded from years
of wear, but still in decent shape.

I found it in
1963 when I was home from college on Christmas break, rummaging through
bags of clothes Mom intended to give away.
"You're not
taking that old thing, are you?" Mom said when she saw me packing the
yellow shirt. "I wore that when I was pregnant with your brother in
1954!"
"It's just the thing to wear over my clothes during art class, Mom.
Thanks!"
I slipped it into
my suitcase before she could object. The yellow shirt be came a part of
my college wardrobe. I loved it.
After
graduation, I wore the shirt the day I moved into my new apartment and
on Saturday mornings when I cleaned.
The next year, I married. When I became pregnant, I wore the yellow
shirt during big-belly days.
I missed Mom and
the rest of my family, since we were in Colorado and they were in
Illinois.

But that shirt
helped. I smiled, remembering that Mother had worn it when she was
pregnant, 15 years earlier.
That Christmas, mindful of the warm feelings the shirt had given me, I
patched one elbow, wrapped it in holiday paper and sent it to Mom. When
Mom wrote to thank me for her "real" gifts, she said the yellow shirt
was lovely. She never mentioned it again.
The next year, my husband, daughter and I stopped at Mom and Dad's to
pick up some furniture.
Days later,
when we uncrated the kitchen table, I noticed something yellow taped to
its bottom. The shirt!
And so the pattern was set.
On our next visit home, I secretly placed the shirt under Mom and Dad's
mattress. I don't know how long it took for her to find it, but almost
two years passed before I discovered it under the base of our
living-room floor lamp.
The yellow shirt
was just what I needed now while refinishing furniture. The walnut
stains added character.
In 1975 my husband and I divorced. With my three children, I prepared
to move back to Illinois.
As I packed, a
deep depression overtook me. I wondered if I could make it on my own. I
wondered if I would find a job.
I paged through
the Bible, looking for comfort. In Ephesians, I read, "So use every
piece of God's armor to resist the enemy whenever he attacks, and when
it is all over, you will be standing up."
I tried to
picture myself wearing God's armor, but all I saw was the stained
yellow shirt. Slowly, it dawned on me. Wasn't my mother's love a piece
of God's armor? My courage was renewed.
Unpacking in our new home, I knew I had to get the shirt back to
Mother. The next time I visited her, I tucked it in her bottom dresser
drawer.
Meanwhile, I found a good job at a radio station. A year later I
discovered the yellow shirt hidden in a rag bag in my cleaning
closet.
Something
new had been added. Embroidered in bright green across the breast
pocket were the words "I BELONG TO PAT."
Not to be outdone, I got out my own embroidery materials and added an
apostrophe and seven more letters. Now the shirt proudly proclaimed, "I
BELONG TO PAT'S MOTHER." But I didn't stop there.
I zig-zagged all
the frayed seams, then had a friend mail the shirt in a fancy box to
Mom from Arlington, VA.
We enclosed
an official looking letter from "The Institute for the Destitute,"
announcing that she was the recipient of an award for good deeds.
I would have
given anything to see Mom's face when she opened the box. But, of
course, she never mentioned it.
Two years later, in 1978, I remarried. The day of our wedding, Harold
and I put our car in a friend's garage to avoid practical jokers.
After the
wedding, while my husband drove us to our honeymoon suite, I reached
for a pillow in the car to rest my head.
It felt lumpy. I
unzipped the case and found, wrapped in wedding paper, the yellow
shirt. Inside a pocket was a note: "Read John 14:27-29. I love you
both, Mother."
That night I paged through the Bible in a hotel room and found the
verses: "I am leaving you with a gift: peace of mind and heart.
And the
peace I give isn't fragile like the peace the world gives. So don't be
troubled or afraid. Remember what I told you: I am going away, but I
will come back to you again.

If you really
love me, you will be very happy for me, for now I can go to the Father,
who is greater than I am. I have told you these things before they
happen so that when they do, you will believe in me."
The shirt was Mother's final gift. She had known for three months that
she had terminal Lou Gehrig's disease.
Mother died the
following year at age 57. I was tempted to send the yellow shirt with
her to her grave.
But I'm glad I
didn't, because it is a vivid reminder of the love-filled game she and
I played for 16 years.
Besides, my older
daughter is in college now, majoring in art. And every art student
needs a baggy yellow shirt with big pockets.
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